


Reality

by Anonymous_Black



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-26 01:23:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21365851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonymous_Black/pseuds/Anonymous_Black
Summary: Sirius got drunk with James Potter and told him a secret.Or was it only his imagination?
Relationships: Sirius Black & James Potter
Kudos: 1





	Reality

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. There are some OOC parts, great apologies for that. But still, I love them.  
2\. You see, my mother language is not English, so there are definitely loads of grammatical mistakes. Sorry for that. But still, I’d greatly appreciate it if you could point them out for me. Loads of love!

‘So how on earth did we end up sitting here?’ James flattened himself out on the ground, playing with his wand in his hand. He sounded lazy and careless, as if we were back on the roof — sorry, our roof if I may correct myself, which means the roof of my house. When we were up there we’d love to point out the whole Black family from the filthy sky, and one by one we laughed at the idiots. But now we’re not. This was a barren white coast, and Jimmy and I, we had thrown ourselves on the hard bony rocks with the motorbike lying in sight.

‘Hey mind-wanderer?’ He waved a paw in my face, which I brushed off impatiently.

You made me dizzy. And sorry... what did you just say?

‘You’re dizzy, because you dra... drank too much. And I was asking you why the hell are we here!’

How should I know? We were at your single party and... tomorrow Lily Evans is going to be your bride. I dug the first few words out of my stomach and threw them to him while swallowing the rest.

‘I know. But what is that got to do with here?’ He snatched the Fire Whisky bottle from my grasp and poured the content down his throat, spilling half on himself. His shirt pasted onto his body. Oh. His body. Soon hers. Too perfect to be mine.

‘So you stole us from the party just to come here? To such a... boring place?’ Although I could feel that he was joking, the word ‘boring’ pierced through me. Supporting myself up on one elbow, I scattered my bottle on the rocks along with my roar.

I’ll tell you my reason, Prongs. Haven’t you see? Because I LOVE you, James! I’ve been loving you ever since I saw you on that bloody train. I’ve suppressed that emotion ‘cause I don’t want you to swing that you-harmed-me expression into my face. Oh, I should have tried to reach for you! Now you’re getting married. And how dare you telling me that you are being bored, on my last night with only you? So now I tell you, James Potter, I, Sirius Black, I FUCKING LOVE YOU!

Everything was smashed to pieces. The words cut deeply into the silence wailing between us. The stars spun low above us and the sea screamed far below our feet. I could see the astonishment in his amber eyes without looking at him. Then his whisper was crawling between me and the scattered bottle. ‘Please...’

Please what? Please don’t love me? Please don’t ruin our friendship? What the fuck did he mean?

Then he leaned forward to me. James Potter kissed me, his whisky-flavor lips hurting mine. When he stopped so both of us could gasp for air, he stammered in my ear,’If you could just tell me earlier... we could have run away... to our end...’

What...

The pain boiled in me as I got up. The pale stones clattered against my bleeding bones. There was no motorbike nor damp shirt. Was he here? Or was there only me, the mad runaway from Azkaban? I cannot be certain about it. 

As I turned away from facing the sea, I caught something in the corner of my eye — a flaming crimson tie stained with beer. Although I know that it could be left here by anyone, it could also be a chunk from my reality. I wept into it.

Walking away from the sea as Padfoot, I did not turn back, for I know that if I did, I would definitely see the pearl-white ghost of James Potter there, standing in the waves, smiling and waving at me.

And I, Sirius Black, would definitely try to reach him, drowning in his kiss.

So I did not. Sorry, James, not now. It’s not the time.

—————TBC—————


End file.
